


Excessive Cerumen

by TheAwfulDodger



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Caning, Conditioning, Dehumanization, Ears, Fainting, HYDRA Trash Party, Hurt No Comfort, Medical Procedures, Medical Torture, Mental Health Issues, Squick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 02:19:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10401558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAwfulDodger/pseuds/TheAwfulDodger
Summary: “Then tell me why you purposefully tried to damage Hydra’s property by sticking a spoon in your ear, Soldat!”The Winter Soldier has a medical condition Zola's knock-off version of the super-soldier-serum did not fix.  A tryptich describing three moments in Bucky Barnes life, dealing with his problems. Part one is up, tags and warnings will change when part 2 and 3 go up!





	

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The soldier needs to learn that he cannot damage Hydra's property, and needs to report malfuntions straight away.

“Hand!”

The soldier who could not remember his name gingerly peeled his throbbing right hand from between his thighs and stuck it out again, palm turned upwards. Following commands was ingrained into his muscle memory, eventhough his mind objected. The thin rattan cane whistled through the air before it landed with a resounding thwack across the palm of the soldier’s upturned right hand. Two red lines were already turning purple next to the searing new stroke of the cane. The soldier couldn’t help whining as the cane landed, hand quivering but staying in place this time, stuck out before him, palm turned up like an offering.

“What are you?” the officier in front of him barked, and the answer came as natural to the soldier as following orders did.

“The Fist of Hydra, Sir!” The thin cane whistled through the air again, landing with precision on the soldier’s fleshy palm again. A fourth, perfectly perpendicular red stripe bloomed after a second and black spots danced in front of the soldier’s eyes.

“Whose body is this?”

“This body is the property of Hydra, Sir!” the nameless soldier grunted, as he fought the urge to curl up his fingers and hide his throbbing hand between his thighs again, or to put it safely behind his back, where the _(not-his never-his never-been-his never-will-be-his)_ other hand was.

A fifth stroke landed, this one diagonally across the other four, like a sick way of keeping a tally. This time the skin broke, the places where the strikes overlapped bursting open and weeping blood softly. The soldier could taste blood, had bitten his lip in his effort to keep silent. _Order through pain. Order through pain._

The outstretched hand was shaking badly now, but through sheer force of will, he managed to keep it turned upwards and outwards.

“Then tell me why you purposefully tried to damage Hydra’s property by sticking a spoon in your ear, Soldat!”

He had only done it because he couldn’t stand it anymore, couldn’t stand the dull, painfull throbbing that had started in his left ear little over a week ago and had seemed to spread to the right ear after a day or two. Couldn’t stand the pressure inside his ears that no amount of jabbing and wriggling with his pinky finger would alleviate. Couldn’t stand the world sounding dull and muffled and far away, making him feel stupid. Not to damage Hydra’s property. Never to damage Hydra’s property. That thought alone hurt, sent a fire through his nervous system like an electrical storm. He didn’t think that he could do that, even if he wanted to...

Apparantly, he took too long before answering, not knowing how to formulate his thoughts, because the cane swooped down on his hand again and reignited the fire by landing on his palm diagonally in the opposite direction, forming a neat red x across the first four horizontal strikes. The center of the x quickly turned into a little pool of blood. Formulate, he had to formulate a reply, following the new speech guidelines they had implemented, show them he was learning, he was good and obedient.

“...malfunction, Sir?” The questionmark at the end of the sentence was barely there, and the nameless soldier continued in the same breath, realising he needed to specify that if he wanted to keep the cane off his hand. _Order through pain._

“...Hearing impaired Sir, functionality... 50%, Sir?” Now the questionmark was definetely there, but the officer didn’t seem to notice or care about the soldier’s uncertainty.

“You are to report malfunctions, Soldat, how else are we supposed to maintain you?” he scolded, mock sympathy colouring his words. “Take him to Medical.”

The two grunts on the soldier’s sides saluted and sprang into action, both grabbing the soldier above the elbow. They dragged him out of the cell and down the corridor. The metal door that the soldier knew led to Medical was open, and he couldn’t help struggling a bit as the hands on his upper arms guided him across the threshold. It earned him a quick jab to the ribs.

The elderly doctor _(no, technician, they were called technicians now)_ lowered his glasses and peered over the rim as the soldiers _(handlers, they are handlers, use the new guidelines or they will stick you in the black box again)_ firmly guided him into the vinyl padded chair.

The chair that made his teeth chatter and his brain sizzle and his muscles twitch, where they stuck him with needles sometimes but let him read about Hydra shaping the world too and let him relax while the bags of white and bags of brown emptied into his nose or fluids flowed into his arm, in peace and quiet.

His fingers wrapped around the armrests like they were made for it, the left falling into grooves that fit just right, the right giving a smarting, stinging, fiery flash. _Order through pain. Order through pain. Order through pain._ The soldier who could not remember his name lost himself in the pain a little, relishing in the grounding, fiery burn.

The handlers and the doc-technician _(technician!)_ exchanged words over his head, and then his left earlobe was suddenly grabbed. It startled him a little but he tightened his his fingers on the armrest and relished the new flow of pain order through pain that gushed from his hand. His earlobe was pulled down quite harshly and something cool slid into his ear, but not like the spoon handle, not deep enough to dislodge the ache and the throb deep inside.

The technician hummed and the cool pressure slid out, only to return on the other side. Again, his earlobe was pulled down hard enough to smart, and again, the technician hummed when the cool pressure slid out. He peered over his halfmoon glasses at the nameless soldier, a frown on his wrinkly features.

“Soldat, how long have you been malfunctioning?” The soldier who didn’t know his name knew the answer to that, because the left side had started malfunctioning after the test with the lake and the ice, and the right two or three days after that. A wave of relief washed over the soldier, because he knew the answer and could answer this question. He was _good_ , he _obeyed_.

“Sir, the malfunction started eight days ago, functionality was only impaired on the left side, Sir. The right side started malfunctioning six days ago, Sir!”

The technician tutted at his answer, turning away from the chair and making his way towards the stainless steel cabinets against the side wall.

“Well it is certainly red enough to have started eight days ago...” he mumbled, though the soldier didn’t think he was being adressed. The technician rummaged through the cabinet above the stainless steel sink and pulled out a kidney shaped basin that he put in the sink. A comically large but rather intimidating steel syringe followed soon ater. A vague sense of trepidation filled the soldier at the sight of it. Surely the technician would not inject him with such a big syringe..?

The technician turned on the tap and filled the kidneyshaped dish with cold water, then proceeded to suck the water up into the big syringe until it was full. The tap was shut off and the technician focused his attention on the soldier again. The steel kidneydish was pressed up against his neck and he was ordered to hold it there, under his left ear. A hand fisted in his hair, his head was tilted forward and a little sideways.

The two handlers shifted nervously, which in turn made the nameless man shift. Was there something to be nervous about? Then the world narrowed down to his left ear, where something cold poked him. It was the tip of the big syringe, sliding into his ear, the soldier realised with a start. It did not hurt but the pressure was uncomfortable. He jerked against the hand in his hair, lowering the dish away from his cheek and trying to squirm away despite himself. The hand in his hair gave his head a shake and the cold metal followed him when he moved.

The technician grunted something, the dish was plucked from his hand. Two hands replaced the hand in his hair, a third appeared and pressed the kidney dish against his cheek while a fourth supplied a steady pressure on his left shoulder.

“Hold him still!” It barely registered before there was a sudden roaring in his left ear, an incredible increase of pressure, cold _cold sore painful rushing red hot scraping loud_ pressure. Blackness threatened at the edges of his vision and the world was spinning and dipping, the offwhite tiles around him dancing and contorting. His mouth filled with saliva, suddenly more than he could swallow and his stomach lurched dangerously.

The rushing icy cold pressure kept up for what seemed like forever until it suddenly just stopped. His left ear crackled and bubbled and everything sounded very loud and tinny. The blackness and nausea threatened to overtake him, he could only vaguely and distantly feel his earlobe being pinched and pulled and metal coolness sliding back in. This time it stung, vicious fire right inside his ear. The technician’s voice sounded loud yet very far away, the world around him still twisting and fuzzy.

“Some irritation, no infection. Excessive cerumen, possibly as a reaction to the lake water.” The sound of water splashing in the sink as the dish was pulled away from his cheek and emptied. A cool drop sliding down his neck and under the collar of his thin cotton shirt.

The fuzziness retreating a little, his left ear throbbing with his heartbeat, the sound still fluffy and thick on his right, shrill and too loud on his left. When the cold dish reappeared on his right cheek moments later and the syringe slid into his right ear and the hands on his hair tightened, the soldier was prepared. His left hand shot out and grabbed the metal syringe right from the technician’s hands, crushing it like a cardboard tube before flinging it across the room. It banged against the far wall and clattered on the floor.

Almost immediately the electric whine of the stun batons hummed and the fuzziness that still threatened at the edges of his topsy-turvy vision descended as his body seized with electricity ripping through it.

“Well gentlemen, let’s do the other side with the restraints on, shall we?”

**Author's Note:**

> Excessive cerumen literally means that you have overactive earwax-production. As you might know, that stuff can build up and clog up your ears, making the world sound very far away etc. There isn't anything you can do about this to prevent it, but avoiding water in your ears might help. The only solution is going to the doctor and have them flush it out. Usually, when one ear clogs up, the other isn't far behind. You can speed things along by putting drops of vegetable oil in there to soften things up. DON'T go shoving Q-tips or spoonhandles in your ears, that's dangerous and actually makes it worse!
> 
> The buildup can actually irritate your inner ear because it presses on sensitive things in there. If that happens it hurts like a motherfucker at the doc's. Ask me how I know :P. 
> 
> You can get quite dizzy and nauseous from having your ears flushed, because your inner ear and its function in balance etc. That's with body temperature water! Anything below this makes it a lot worse, I actually fainted from water that was a couple of degrees too cool once. (Now imagine using cold water straight from the tap)
> 
> Stay tuned for part 2 and 3!


End file.
